I hate my existence, my parents expect so much from me, but i know that at the end of the day its all for my own good.
Despite taking more than 30 driving lessons, im still crap at it, i just wish a miracle can happen, where for the next lesson i can be soo good that the bloody driving instructor would be amazed, its her who makes me nervous, i wish i had my own car as to which i can learn in, as the instructors some how just make me feel nervous the same feeling that i will not be up to their expectations.
And if i tell my parents they will consider me a complete stupid failiure.
I hate it all. And i have no one to talk to, inorder to take away the feeling of bottling it all up!
I just really want to be good at driving, to have my own independence, but my stupid capabilities are just not working as good as they were, since my crappy past of being bullied and completely taken the mick out way back in school, and then some time later, my little sister passed away in hospital, as she was very ill.
Why can't i feel that for once im in control of my life, where no matter what i still remain strong and confident.
I want to succeed. Hopefully i can amaze the bitch of a driving instructor that i can drive to the high standards for the test.